Imagine, if you will, a chance meeting between Shakin' Stevens, Type O Negative and the teenaged ghost of Lauren Laverne in a Bootle social club. Shakey takes offence at Pete Steele's tasteless eye make up and starts kicking off, only to be calmed when the Fazakerley branch of the Jehovah's Witnesses turns up with the latest issue of the Watchtower featuring an exclusive interview with Cliff, the man who Shakey will never be. Awesome Wells is somewhat like this.

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